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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Jose’s 21st birthday



There was a kid named Jose and he was 20 years old and he was going to his birthday at a bar with all his friends. When he got there he saw his parents car, he was really surprised that his parents showed up. He wasn’t expecting them to come because they just got back from Los Vegas. So when he got there he was having a hard time getting into the bar because there was a guy at the named George at the front door not letting him into the bar because there was a private party going on and that they will not be open until 10:30 pm. So then one of his friends went to go see why it was taking Jose so long to get the bar. Then his friend Jack came out and found Jose talking to the guy at the front. Jack had told George that this is Jose and he is the birthday guy so that the guy would understand that this is Jose’s party.

Finally Jose got into his own party and everyone in his 8th grade from his middle school had been there at his party. This was a really big party because in his middle school years he had around 200 people. This had been a big bar so it could fit all these people. So Jose saw his parents and he gave them a big hug and his friends said really loud “Happy Birthday!” There was balloons and confetti fly all around Jose. Jack Had said it was time for him to open his first present. Jose opened one and it was a new laptop. It was the one that he wanted in the first place from his best friend Jack. He opened another one and it was from his parents and it was some keys in a box. Jose asked his mom if she had forgotten her keys and put them in the box. She said no she didn’t. Jose took another glance at them and it had a Ferrari logo on them. His said to himself “No way my parents would never get me a Ferrari for my birthday. The was also a note inside to. He opened it. It said “If you were thinking that we got you a Ferrari for your birthday, you’re wrong because we don’t have that kind of money. So if you go outside and look in the parking lot you will find it. Love mom!”

He went outside and looked in the parking lot and he found a 2011 Cadillac Escalade. The price of this kind of car was $61,095. This is a type of SUV so this kind of car will suck a lot of gas out of your car fast. Anyways, the night was over and he went home in his new car and he loved it. When he got to his house, there were some birthday cards in the mail. He opened one of them and it was from his girlfriend. It said “Hey, happy birthday. Have a fun time with your birthday and I’m sorry for putting it like this but I don’t think that we can be together anymore. Sincerely Monique.” So he went onto his couch and called her and asked why she broke up with him. She said “I never wrote that. It must have been one of my friends.” So the next day Jose was walking around down town in Waukesha and this girl was following him around everywhere he went. So finally he turned around and asked her “why do you keep following me around everywhere I’m going?”
She said “did you get my letter?”
 Jose said “you’re the one that sent that letter?”
 She said “yeah.”

Jose asked her what her name was so that he can tell Monique. So Jose went to go meet up with friends and on the way he called her and Jose told her it was this girl named Hannah.Jose was going to his friend’s house so that they can go to bowling. It was 9:30 pm on a Friday night, Jose and his friend are heading off to the bowling alley at 9:45 pm Friday night. So they get to A.M.F. bowling and are thinking that this is so cool because all the lights are off and there are black lights with music playing. So they play 5 games and on the second game and one of Jose’s friend showed up and started playing with them. It was Jack, Jose’s best friend. So they played all night and finally after the fifth game they went home.

On Jose’s way to his house he saw Monique. He went to go talk to her but he saw her with another guy. So he was pretty mad when he saw that. So when he got to his house called his girlfriend and he asked her “Hey where did you go tonight?” She said that she just went out with some friends. He was really mad because she was not telling the truth. Jose said that he saw her with another guy. She was trying to get her ways out of that by telling Jose that’s not the truth. So Jose broke up with her because of that she was lying. So Jose turned 21 today and he got new car from his parents and lots of other gifts from his friends. He right now is one happy guy because he got a new car and he doesn’t have a girlfriend that lies to him anymore. So that night when he went home he went on his couch and sat down and turned on the TV. He turned his Xbox 360 and started playing some games with his friends online.

He had turned his Xbox off and called his friend Jack and told him thanks for taking him to bowling that night and thanks for the present. Then when he was done on the phone, Jose got into his pajamas and got into bed. Then he got back up out of bed and went onto the computer to go on his Facebook. He got a message from Monique’s best friend saying “Hey I heard that you broke up with Monique and maybe you would go out with me because I really like you a lot?” Jose replied saying “Yah I would go out with you as long as you tell Monique that we are dating.” She replied and said “Why do you want to me to tell her that we are now dating?” Jose had said “Just that she knows we are going to start dating.” Jose had said that with a smile. So then he went back to bed and he went to bed.

1 comment:

  1. It is quite long for a hook, but it seemed to have all the components to a good hook.

    ReplyDelete

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